...About Lunch Money?

Lunch Money is a fictional short story that I wrote for a creative writing class this semester. I liked it, so I'm posting it public consumption. I hope you enjoy it!

Lunch Money
By Scott Schauf

A piercing shriek eviscerates me from my comatose state. The person who invented alarm clocks should experience every horrible sensation we as a species can conceive of. I muster every ounce of strength that I can in order to drop my fingers upon the snooze button. With the first item crossed off of my to-do list for the day, I roll over and enjoy ten more minutes of sweet, sweet slumber…

...About Freshmen Year?

For all of the things life may or may not be, I know it to be a time-consuming endeavor. This blog has been a casualty of that fact, and will likely revert to its victim-state sooner rather than later. Caleb has been tirelessly chasing a debt-free existence working more hours in a week than most. I have begun the journey through academia, having recently completed my first real semester at a real university. I wanted to reflect on my experiences so far at U of L, so I figured I’d breathe life into this blog one more time. Just know that it may only be to watch it wither away once more. 

...About The Tax On Stupid?

It has been far too long since I have put the proverbial pen to paper for this blog. Alas, college life has taken my time into a firm stranglehold and refuses to relent. My first semester back at a real college has kept me far busier than I had anticipated. Combine that with a lack of inspiration, and I’m left with barely any time to write blog posts and even fewer ideas for pieces in the first place.

...That I'm Sorry?

Last Thursday I got in an argument with my Dad which ended in me getting kicked out. I spent the following weekend in Cincinnati at a magic tournament to get away from the chaos. At this time I was already making preparations for the departure from my home. I was also preparing mentally for a future with no family. This kind of complete collapse had happened before, and it was evident to me that there was no fixing it. This was, in fact, the end. 

...That I'm Too Cool For School?

I was sitting at a restaurant on the University of Louisville campus, dutifully skipping whatever class I was supposed to be attending. My cohorts and I were huddled around a stack of Magic cards as opposed to the homework we had been assigned. The last lecture I had attended had been spent playing Metroid: Zero Mission on my Game Boy Advanced. I had been a fully-fledged college freshman for all of two weeks now, and the future was not looking bright. Alas, I am getting ahead of myself.

...Money?

I was going to start writing a short story series this week. There has been a declining interest in the blog and I’m looking to go in a different direction with my writing. This past week I’ve been cultivating potential paths to take with regards to my first works of fiction. Something happened recently that distracted me from the brainstorming process. My Facebook news feed was littered with people voicing their protest of the SOPA and PIPA bills being discussed in Washington.

...How to Beat That Monkey?

Pandora is assaulting my ear drums with the uptempo madness that is the Party Rock Anthem station. I’ve got on my compression shorts and sweat-wicking shirt to prevent chaffing. I’ve got my bandana on to keep sweat form trickling into my eyes. I’m ready to go. Superior equipment, iPods, and a gym membership won’t do the trick by themselves, though. You need something more than those material things to create a successful session at the gym. You have it all planned out in your head. You are going to work out every day, and in no time you’ll have a body you can be proud of.

...About The Glass?

“The human race is so puny compared to the universe that being disabled is not of much cosmic significance.”

- Stephen Hawking

I envision myself as a cynical optimist. Bad things have, can, and will happen to me, you, and everyone on the planet. This is simply a fact of our existence as it stands. Some of those things may be avoidable; some will be hopelessly out of any person’s control. I believe that one of the most important traits of one’s character is how one responds to the various “bad things” as they occur.

...This is My First Review?

I’m going to begin by stating that I do not claim to be a film critic. I love movies. I try to see everything interesting as it comes out in theaters. I’m not thinking about scene transitions, lighting, and set design. Unless, of course, the scene transitions, lighting, and set design really stand out to me. I’ll endorse a movie because I love the story, or because the characters were interesting, or because I like the cinematography. I enjoy human creation and I believe movies to be one of the greater accomplishments of our race. Thinking about all of the time that goes into set creation, makeup, hiring, financing, writing, and the promoting of movies can be overwhelming. All of the things that have to go right and come together to make a movie happen makes the whole experience that much more significant.

...About My Pink Slip Collection

I’ve alluded to it in previous blog posts. My job history is quite varied. In the period between my first job and stumbling blindly into a career path, I have worked at about ten different places. In our first blog post of 2012, a metric that is very obviously of utmost importance, I thought it might be fun to detail the hijinks I was able to get into during that time in my life.